Living as a Foreigner

I have heard many people say about foreigners visiting or living in the US “if they’re going to come here they need to learn our language”. The funny thing is, people who say that probably only speak one language and have never experienced what it’s like to learn a second language. To those people, I say “it’s not that easy”. I’ve been in Egypt for about 2 months and I still don’t have enough courage to go far from home alone. I walk Karim to school everyday and am able to deal with his teachers and the school staff for the most part because many speak English and those who don’t are able to find someone who does. I have been to the corner store on our block but only to get a few things and I still have to read what the cash register says to understand how much I owe, and many of the store owners speak enough English to help me. It’s a little overwhelming to think about doing much more than that without the help of my family members.

I have been chatting with some friends back home who have experienced something similar, but quite different. Many women I’ve met since becoming Muslim, as well as my hubby, came to the US from foreign countries. Some, like my hubby, spoke English well when they arrived. Others spoke little to no English upon arrival. It is true that by immersing yourself in a language helps you learn faster because you have no choice but to force yourself to speak the language, but it’s still very difficult. At this time I am feeling extra compassion for all my friends back home living in a an unfamiliar place who have so much to say but don’t have the words to say it.

Now, not only does being a foreigner require a second language, but also cultural adaptation. For example, in the States waiting in lines is fairly customary and there are certain unsaid rules that are followed by those in the line. The number one rule is, wait your turn. Here, in Egypt, many places don’t have lines, you just have to go and push your way to you destination. This is not always true, as there are lines in places like the grocery store and government-type service places give you a number and you wait for your number to be called. I remember going to the bank one day and there was just a clump of people standing at the counter. At home I would wait behind the clump and when one person left I would fill the space. Not so in Egypt. It was a good thing I had my niece with me otherwise I would have been there all day. She grabbed my arm and we pushed our way through the clump to the counter and she yelled at the guy what we needed. It’s the same way in the open markets, if you wait your turn you’ll just stand there all day while people push past you. So, I’ve thrown all my manners aside and learned to get myself where I need to go.

There are still many cultural issues I’m learning to deal with. Not that these issues are unique to Egypt but some issues seem to be more prominent than what I’m used to back home. For example, some people are very nosy and are not shy to ask personal questions and they want to know everything about what everyone else is doing. I guess it’s similar to living in a small town, but definitely not something I’m used to.  My hubby’s family, thank God, do not have this problem and they respect my, and each other’s privacy. In close relationship to the nosiness is jealousy. I don’t want to paint Egyptians with a bad brush  but I’ve sensed more envy here than I’ve felt in my whole life. Someone may compliment my shoes and ask where I got them, for example. But, she is not really complimenting me, she wants to know all about the shoes so she can go find some better, like it’s a competition or something. I’ve had to really adapt my way of thinking when holding conversations with women outside of my family. I’ve been told of neighboring women having unspoken competitions about who’s laundry is cleaner, or who’s whites are whiter. First of all, there are no dryers in Egypt, they don’t exist; so all clothes are line-dried. Second, most buildings are built 10 feet from each other, so if I look around from the balcony I can see several people’s drying laundry. So, some women hang their laundry with pride to show their hard work in washing it which is also showing her competitors how much she loves her husband and kids, and this is the real competition—who loves her family more? I find it all very amusing, it would make for good soap opera material.

So, to come full circle, not knowing the language in a foreign country is difficult because I don’t know what’s going on around me, but at the same time a blessing because I can pretend I don’t know what’s going on when I don’t want to be involved :)

Egypt is Dirty, Egyptians are Clean

After a month and a half, something I’m still getting used to is the dirt and dust. Egypt is a desert country so of course there is going to be dirt and sand. It reminds me of when I used to go camping and would try so hard to keep dirt out of the tent but no matter what I did—taking off my shoes, wiping my feet—dirt always got inside. That’s kind of how it is here, even inside. I guess that is why people don’t typically have carpeted floors, it’s usually some type of tile with area rugs in the winter that are easy to clean. I have noticed that if I sweep and dust, by the next day there is a new layer on the surfaces and floor. And this is in Alexandria, I hear Cairo is even worse.

With all this dirt around, I am amazed to see how clean Egyptians are. Everyone I’ve met takes great pride in the way they present themselves. Clothes are always clean and pressed. Kids are always clean with their hair done and their shoes polished (Egyptians have a thing for black dress shoes and after wearing my beige shoes for a week, I see why). While walking Karim to school in the mornings, I see most of the moms dressed like they’re going for a job interview, when in reality most of them are just walking back home. It is my opinion that people compensate for the dirt by dressing well. I don’t know, but it is refreshing to see such nice looking people, I think it would be depressing to see people in ratty jeans or sweats crossing a trash-littered street.

A few blocks from our apartment. Our street is kept relatively clean, not like this—sidewalks swept and trash collectors sweep the streets (not a street sweeper like we are used to, actual guys with brooms sweeping the street, it’s an endless job).

I don’t know if this picture captures what I wanted but this girl is an example of how most people dress—color coordinated, clean, etc. and to her right, a pile of trash-littered dirt. At home I am used to seeing people run to the store in sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes—something Egyptians would consider strictly house clothes.

I don’t have a picture of the cars, but I noticed recently that people wash their cars every morning (actually, most people pay the doorman of the apartment building to do it). After I noticed this, I started looking inside the cars and they are spotless. Cars here are a luxury so most people don’t have them and most that do can only afford older cars. I have seen 30+ year old cars on the street shining like they’re brand new. A lesson I should take home because my car is always a mess.

Is Egypt a Muslim Country?

I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while but since hearing of the news back in the States at Ft. Hood I thought I would write about it. Since being in Egypt I have been surrounded by Muslims and have noticed one thing, Islam (the religion) is perfect, Muslims (the people) are not. I’m not sure why when a Muslim (or someone assumed to be Muslim) in America does something crazy Islam and all Muslims are to blame. When others do wrong they are labeled psychotic or crazy.

Anyway, enough about that issue. Possibly the obvious thing I’ve noticed since arriving is the choice of dress by some in the younger generation. Islam does not dictate a specific wardrobe, but there are guidelines on how women and men should dress. I don’t mean to judge anyone because we all have a choice of what we feel comfortable wearing, I just don’t understand what some girls are thinking. In Islam women are to dress modestly, covering their bodies (except for necessary parts like hands and face) and not showing their shape.

I have heard comments like “Hijab is taking Egypt by storm”, and it’s true, 99% of women I’ve seen wear hijab (the head scarf) and many wear niqab (the additional face veil). However, hijab in Islam is more than a hair cover. It is a measure of modesty, not merely an accessory. In Islam there is mention of the signs leading up to the Day of Judgment. One of these signs is that women in the streets will be “dressed but naked”. In light of this, I found the scene in the picture below very interesting.

The old and the new…