Living as a Foreigner

I have heard many people say about foreigners visiting or living in the US “if they’re going to come here they need to learn our language”. The funny thing is, people who say that probably only speak one language and have never experienced what it’s like to learn a second language. To those people, I say “it’s not that easy”. I’ve been in Egypt for about 2 months and I still don’t have enough courage to go far from home alone. I walk Karim to school everyday and am able to deal with his teachers and the school staff for the most part because many speak English and those who don’t are able to find someone who does. I have been to the corner store on our block but only to get a few things and I still have to read what the cash register says to understand how much I owe, and many of the store owners speak enough English to help me. It’s a little overwhelming to think about doing much more than that without the help of my family members.

I have been chatting with some friends back home who have experienced something similar, but quite different. Many women I’ve met since becoming Muslim, as well as my hubby, came to the US from foreign countries. Some, like my hubby, spoke English well when they arrived. Others spoke little to no English upon arrival. It is true that by immersing yourself in a language helps you learn faster because you have no choice but to force yourself to speak the language, but it’s still very difficult. At this time I am feeling extra compassion for all my friends back home living in a an unfamiliar place who have so much to say but don’t have the words to say it.

Now, not only does being a foreigner require a second language, but also cultural adaptation. For example, in the States waiting in lines is fairly customary and there are certain unsaid rules that are followed by those in the line. The number one rule is, wait your turn. Here, in Egypt, many places don’t have lines, you just have to go and push your way to you destination. This is not always true, as there are lines in places like the grocery store and government-type service places give you a number and you wait for your number to be called. I remember going to the bank one day and there was just a clump of people standing at the counter. At home I would wait behind the clump and when one person left I would fill the space. Not so in Egypt. It was a good thing I had my niece with me otherwise I would have been there all day. She grabbed my arm and we pushed our way through the clump to the counter and she yelled at the guy what we needed. It’s the same way in the open markets, if you wait your turn you’ll just stand there all day while people push past you. So, I’ve thrown all my manners aside and learned to get myself where I need to go.

There are still many cultural issues I’m learning to deal with. Not that these issues are unique to Egypt but some issues seem to be more prominent than what I’m used to back home. For example, some people are very nosy and are not shy to ask personal questions and they want to know everything about what everyone else is doing. I guess it’s similar to living in a small town, but definitely not something I’m used to.  My hubby’s family, thank God, do not have this problem and they respect my, and each other’s privacy. In close relationship to the nosiness is jealousy. I don’t want to paint Egyptians with a bad brush  but I’ve sensed more envy here than I’ve felt in my whole life. Someone may compliment my shoes and ask where I got them, for example. But, she is not really complimenting me, she wants to know all about the shoes so she can go find some better, like it’s a competition or something. I’ve had to really adapt my way of thinking when holding conversations with women outside of my family. I’ve been told of neighboring women having unspoken competitions about who’s laundry is cleaner, or who’s whites are whiter. First of all, there are no dryers in Egypt, they don’t exist; so all clothes are line-dried. Second, most buildings are built 10 feet from each other, so if I look around from the balcony I can see several people’s drying laundry. So, some women hang their laundry with pride to show their hard work in washing it which is also showing her competitors how much she loves her husband and kids, and this is the real competition—who loves her family more? I find it all very amusing, it would make for good soap opera material.

So, to come full circle, not knowing the language in a foreign country is difficult because I don’t know what’s going on around me, but at the same time a blessing because I can pretend I don’t know what’s going on when I don’t want to be involved :)

Egypt is Dirty, Egyptians are Clean

After a month and a half, something I’m still getting used to is the dirt and dust. Egypt is a desert country so of course there is going to be dirt and sand. It reminds me of when I used to go camping and would try so hard to keep dirt out of the tent but no matter what I did—taking off my shoes, wiping my feet—dirt always got inside. That’s kind of how it is here, even inside. I guess that is why people don’t typically have carpeted floors, it’s usually some type of tile with area rugs in the winter that are easy to clean. I have noticed that if I sweep and dust, by the next day there is a new layer on the surfaces and floor. And this is in Alexandria, I hear Cairo is even worse.

With all this dirt around, I am amazed to see how clean Egyptians are. Everyone I’ve met takes great pride in the way they present themselves. Clothes are always clean and pressed. Kids are always clean with their hair done and their shoes polished (Egyptians have a thing for black dress shoes and after wearing my beige shoes for a week, I see why). While walking Karim to school in the mornings, I see most of the moms dressed like they’re going for a job interview, when in reality most of them are just walking back home. It is my opinion that people compensate for the dirt by dressing well. I don’t know, but it is refreshing to see such nice looking people, I think it would be depressing to see people in ratty jeans or sweats crossing a trash-littered street.

A few blocks from our apartment. Our street is kept relatively clean, not like this—sidewalks swept and trash collectors sweep the streets (not a street sweeper like we are used to, actual guys with brooms sweeping the street, it’s an endless job).

I don’t know if this picture captures what I wanted but this girl is an example of how most people dress—color coordinated, clean, etc. and to her right, a pile of trash-littered dirt. At home I am used to seeing people run to the store in sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes—something Egyptians would consider strictly house clothes.

I don’t have a picture of the cars, but I noticed recently that people wash their cars every morning (actually, most people pay the doorman of the apartment building to do it). After I noticed this, I started looking inside the cars and they are spotless. Cars here are a luxury so most people don’t have them and most that do can only afford older cars. I have seen 30+ year old cars on the street shining like they’re brand new. A lesson I should take home because my car is always a mess.

Is Egypt a Muslim Country?

I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while but since hearing of the news back in the States at Ft. Hood I thought I would write about it. Since being in Egypt I have been surrounded by Muslims and have noticed one thing, Islam (the religion) is perfect, Muslims (the people) are not. I’m not sure why when a Muslim (or someone assumed to be Muslim) in America does something crazy Islam and all Muslims are to blame. When others do wrong they are labeled psychotic or crazy.

Anyway, enough about that issue. Possibly the obvious thing I’ve noticed since arriving is the choice of dress by some in the younger generation. Islam does not dictate a specific wardrobe, but there are guidelines on how women and men should dress. I don’t mean to judge anyone because we all have a choice of what we feel comfortable wearing, I just don’t understand what some girls are thinking. In Islam women are to dress modestly, covering their bodies (except for necessary parts like hands and face) and not showing their shape.

I have heard comments like “Hijab is taking Egypt by storm”, and it’s true, 99% of women I’ve seen wear hijab (the head scarf) and many wear niqab (the additional face veil). However, hijab in Islam is more than a hair cover. It is a measure of modesty, not merely an accessory. In Islam there is mention of the signs leading up to the Day of Judgment. One of these signs is that women in the streets will be “dressed but naked”. In light of this, I found the scene in the picture below very interesting.

The old and the new…

Food!

Either my sisters in law are really good cooks or the food here is just really delicious. Or, maybe it has something to do with the ingredients. Processed food here is very expensive and farm fresh food is much cheaper. Here is some of the tastier dishes we’ve had so far, and some other yummy things.

Fayrouz pineapple sparkling malt beverage, very interesting taste at first and now I love it more than any other soda

Fried fish (bolti=talapia) and Cabbage rolls (MaHshi)

Crab, BBQ fish (bolti) and salad

Teen, sort of like a fig. We found these growing on a tree in the park one day, they made a nice snack.

Red date. Very weird at first as I’m only used to medjool dates, but now we’re out of these and I’m craving some right now. Roqaya also especially likes these. (madjool dates start like this one and they are preserved through a process of deliberate and delicate drying over a period of time and under controlled humidity and temprature)

Fried cauliflower (qarnabeet)

Koshri. Major carbs but very delicious—rice, brown lentils, pasta, sauce, fried onions and garbanzo beans (humus) and a spicy dressing to go on top.

For each picture I added I want to say that dish is my favorite but then I remember the next picture and say, no that is my favorite. So, they are all my favorite :)

Driving While Egyptian

Ok, streets here are just crazy and I'm pretty sure I will never attempt to drive them, walking is enough of an adventure. The government likes to waste time and money painting lanes on the roads, but no one adheres to them. There can be a 3 lane road but 5 lanes of cars.

There are no stop lights, or traffic signs at all other than street names. There are no crosswalks. Drivers have come up with their own system of traffic control consisting mainly of honking and flashing their headlights. As we drove from the airport in Cairo to Alexandria I noticed the honking. I told my brother- and sister-law later that of all the years I’ve been driving I’ve honked my horn 5-10 times. They asked “well what do you use it for?” In the same tone that I asked “what’s with all the honking?” My brother-in-law who drives explains it as a way to get others’ attention, but in a very casual way. When I walk down the street and a car passes, the driver honks telling me he’s coming and for me to get out of the way—something that I would find very rude in the States, but here it’s normal. When crossing an intersection (most intersections have no lights and no right of way) drivers flash their headlights as an indication that they are crossing. In a way it’s nice because traffic jams are rare, and I have yet to see an accident.

Remember, I said there are no crosswalks. When crossing the road, pedestrians must weave themselves between cars. Traffic in the city moves pretty slow—30mph max—but this will take some getting used to for me. Luckily, most places I go by foot don’t require crossing any big streets. If we need to go somewhere far we have to find either public transportation or private services like taxis. There is a light rail, but I haven’t been on it yet. There are large busses like in any other city, which I have not been on either. Then there are mini-busses which seat 20ish people are very comfortable for trips around the city. For shorter trips there are micro-busses, basically mini vans with seating for 10. These are cheaper but crowded and don’t seem to follow a set route, you just have to call out when your stop is coming. This gets a little hectic when the bus/van is full. Yesterday I went out with Asmaa and we got seats on a micro-bus, but we were the last ones in so were sitting next to the sliding door. Every time we made a stop, I had to get

out, fold down my seat, let the people out and climb back in. The driver is not very patient and wants to keep moving, so if you don’t move quick enough he will drive off even if you’re not seated—this happened once while I was getting back in, with the door still open. We did this in-and-out about 3 times in a 5 minute trip.

This microbus is smaller than than ones I’ve ridden, but you get the idea…

The easiest, but more expensive choice is the taxi—they are everywhere and easy to spot. All taxis in Alexandria are black and yellow and I’m pretty sure they’re all the same make and model. Each taxi is privately owned so it is up to the passengers to negotiate a price with the driver before getting in the cab, otherwise he could make up any fare upon arrival since meters are not used. This taxi is pretty plain, but I’ve seen some with neon flashing lights, multi-colored fringe framing the inside trim or elaborately decorated dash boards.

If you want an adventure and need to get somewhere quick, the best choice is the Tooktook. It’s like a combination between a motorcycle and a cab with a steering wheel and seats for two in the back. I have been told that these drivers typically don’t have licenses and are not trained in road safety. Again, this one is plain, but the tooktook drivers get especially creative pimpin’ their rides.

Only in Egypt

If you are newly engaged or married in Alexandria, the place to go is the pier. The night we went was a Thursday (equivalent to Saturday in America) so there were a lot of weddings. We saw at least 5 wedding parties strutting their stuff, showing their dresses and having their day documented by a photographer. After the walk, they drove away in their decorated cars with people cheering and honking for them. I found this practice a little amusing because there were so many of them in a small area doing the same thing—walking the pier, stopping for ice cream, taking pictures and driving away. I guess it’s their way of showing their dresses since weddings here are a little different—there’s not usually a walk down the aisle or standing in front of a bunch of people reciting vows.

The side of this building was actually a really good backdrop for pictures, I will have to go back and get a shot of the whole thing

Last week Mariam and I went to Karim’s school to finish his enrollment papers and as we were waiting for the headmaster I heard a voice over a loud speaker. I asked Mariam if it was a school announcement or something, she said no, it is a guy selling potatoes. People like this, farmers, come from the country to sell their produce on horse/donkey/mule drawn carts and use loud speakers as their form of advertisement. Mariam translated the message as the guy saying he had the best potatoes at the best price and that he had other stuff too. I wanted a video of this but was inside, but later I found a similar cart and guy selling gas tanks for use in the home, usually stoves. I’m not sure if these guys were farmers or just merchants though.

Apartment buildings in Egypt are not really designed with the occupants in mind—it’s all about getting the most building in the smallest amount of space (or so it seems). Our building has four apartments per floor so to give air circulation and window access on two sides of the apartment the builders created a light/air shaft in the middle. One side of the building opens to the outside (one window in living room and two access points to balcony in dining room and bedroom) while the other windows (one in master bedroom, one in bathroom, and one in kitchen) open to the light/air shaft. It is difficult to explain/capture the idea without really seeing it but here are some pictures

This picture was taken from the stairwell outside our door

The floor of the light/air shaft is sometimes used for storage. People leave things with no fear of them being stolen or damaged. I’ve seen some with bikes, furniture, and other large items. People also keep their shoes outside of the door, although living on the ground level is probably a little more risky because there is a potential for more traffic. In fact Ahmed had a pair of expensive running shoes stolen when he was in college—still a painful memory.

Here is a picture of the mango juice from the stand, it is freshly squeezed and given in a glass that we drink in the street and they wash and reuse in the juice stand. The kids gets unique to-go ‘cups’, something Karim really enjoys. So much so that he refuses to drink from the glass, he must have his juice to-go

And Karim with his juice in the entrance of our building. A lantern and other decorations still hanging from Ramadan celebrations

That is all for now, I’m sure I will have more to add to this category…

Karim’s First Day of School

We have been looking for a good school to enroll Karim since he was about 2. None of the schools in our area in Maryland were what I wanted—either they were too expensive or not the right environment. Before leaving for Egypt we decided to try a school here and were able to find the perfect fit. The Delta Language School is inexpensive, at least by American standards, it is a bit pricey relative to the Egyptian pound. We took Karim a couple times to tour the school and he really loved it, but today was the day to leave him there alone. He did really well, he didn’t cry. He wanted me to stay but after we left we watched him from the window outside and he seemed to adjust right away. I went to pick him up 5 hours later and he was so happy to see me. I don’t think I’ve ever left him that long with someone he doesn’t know.

All his teachers are really nice and they speak enough English that we are able to communicate. His head teacher’s name is Miss Ranya. Today they had an English lesson and learned “What is your name?”, “I’m Karim”. Of course these are things Karim already knows but they will learn other subjects, and I’m sure Karim learned a lot more during his day other than what was taught by the teachers. He will continue going everyday except Friday and Saturday (the weekend in Egypt and other Muslim countries) from 7:30 – 12:45.

I thought it would be fun to take to my niece and nephew to pick up Karim since they were getting out of school at the same time I was leaving. I let them lead me to the school and we got lost because they thought Karim went to a different school. Luckily we found our way back and arrived on time to pick him up.

Here are a few picture from his first day

So serious. My sisters in law tell me that Ahmed was the same way. Going to school was a serious matter and no time for laughing :)

In the classroom, Miss Ranya in the background

Sitting at his desk

From outside the window, he looks really sad but right after this I saw him smile at his teacher

After we picked him up, I didn’t get a shot of his first reaction, maybe tomorrow