Red Means Stop

So, riding in the car the other day we thought Karim would enjoy a little lesson about traffic lights--red means stop, green means go, and yellow means slow down. Well, we forgot to mention that sometimes it's ok to turn right when the light is red as long as you stop first. Lucky for me I seem to now hit every red light when I need to turn right and Karim doesn't like this at all. He cautions me from the back seat, "red means stop mama" and as I continue through the red light his voice gets louder--"stop mama, stop!". I explain to him every time that sometimes it's ok to go through the red light, but in a 3 year old brain there is no gray area, there is only black and white, or in this case, red and green; stop and go.

School

As I am closing in on my final month of school for my BS I am also coming up on the time to get busy figuring out what to do with Karim in terms of school. Since he turned 3 I have been brain wrestling myself trying to come up with the best option for us. Right now I am weighing the options between pre-K at the public school in our neighborhood, private cooperative preschool, pre-K at the Islamic school in our area, or homeschooling. If I decide on preschool I need to get him enrolled so he can start in the fall. If I home school I don't really need to get into formal teaching until kindergarten. As of now I am leaning more toward either the cooperative preschool and continuing what we're doing at home to get prepared for a kindergarten home school program. I really love the idea of home schooling because there is so much freedom to focus on certain things more than others depending on how his skills develop. I also like the freedom to use different learning styles including lots of hands on learning--there are so many organizations catering to home schoolers like the zoos, museums, aquariums, etc. But, I also like the idea of sending Karim to school for a few hours a day. Not only for my own benefit (selfish perhaps) but for him to learn the social dynamics of being in the classroom. Either way, as my sister keeps telling me, no matter what choice I make, nothing is final and I can experiment with different options until we find the best academic fit for Karim.

There's No Place Like Home

Well, it was an intense trip but we made it home safely, thank God. We left our apartment in Egypt at 1am (6pm EST) and arrived at our door around 11pm EST the next night. Needless to say it was a long trip with little sleep involved, for me anyway. The kids did as well as could be expected. There was some crying and grumpiness but nothing major. Everyone on the plane was very understanding and helpful and no one complained. The trip was a little longer than it needed to be because to get from Alexandria to Cairo we had to take a bus and the only one we could find for the time we needed left at 1:30am and got us to the airport at 4am. Our flight didn't leave til 10am so we spent a couple hours hanging out in the airport before we could check in. Two of my sisters-in-law came though, and that was a big help.

When I was getting on the plane the flight crew manager gave me a hard time about the car seats and said I couldn't bring them. He said it was safer to not have them, I said, "I have a 3 year old son, he knows how to get out of that lap belt and he'll be running all over your plane". He said ok. He walked by later and said, "oh, how right you were, these are much better". Other than that the flight was smooth and we arrived on time. We found Ahmed waiting for us outside customs. It was so great to see his face and the kids were so happy.

We had a great 3 day weekend hanging out together and Ahmed went back to work Tuesday. Since then I've been unpacking and getting the house back in order after 3 months. I took 2 weeks off school and will start my last class Tuesday so I have until then to get all my reorganizing done. The kids are fascinated by all their old toys and clothes and food they were used to. They get so excited when Ahmed comes home from work, even more than they used to before we left.

Mariam joked with me before leaving that I would come home and hug and kiss all the things I left behind. I laughed at her, but really coming home was very humbling. And still, I am finding things about my house that I took for granted before. The first thing I noticed--when I walked in the door and stepped on the carpet I said, wow, this carpet is so soft! I am also very happy to have my coffee maker and my bed, really there is nothing like sleeping in your own bed.

As difficult as the trip was, being away from Ahmed and home, I'm so glad the kids and I were able to do it. We met our wonderful family members and experienced a life that we would have never known otherwise. I am much more aware of what I have and am more grateful for the small things in my life. During our Nile journey when we were traveling from Luxor to Aswan we were put on the worst train of all time, even by Egyptian standards. It was hot, dirty, uncomfortable, no air and people were smoking outside our car. While sitting in my very uncomfortable seat trying to sleep I remember thinking that without the bad we can't appreciate the good. If we had ridden 1st class the whole way it wouldn't be such a big deal, but by riding a leg in that terrible car, the ride back in the sleeper train was that much better and more appreciated. If you're following my analogy, I'm not trying to say that life in Egypt was bad, it wasn't, but it was different than what I'm used to and although I miss it, I'm glad to be home.

Here are some cute pics of the kids lovin' on Baba after we got home

Roqaya playing HadAlBaydah (This is the egg) with Baba

Big Hug





Karim was 'tickling' his face and Roqaya was slapping him out of excitement

Got your nose



Karim got his nose really hard

Journey Along the River Nile

Ahmed came for a 2 week visit and for 5 days we took a series of train rides between Alexandria and Aswan, Egypt. We had a great time and saw a lot of sites, it’s a little too much to write about since I’m still exhausted from the trip and seeing Ahmed off yesterday, not to mention we all caught a cold. So, I will just give the link to our pictures which should tell the story pretty well. http://picasaweb.google.com/ceciliaummkarim

Everyday Luxuries

My friends and family back home ask me if I miss America. This question always throws me because of course I miss home, but there are aspects about life in Egypt that are special and could never be duplicated in the States. Don’t get me wrong though, I look forward to going back home and getting back to the life I’m used to while enjoying all the wonderful things America has to offer. Here is a short list of things I love about Egypt, things I wish I could take with me.

1. Doorman

Anyone who has ever lived in a luxury apartment building in the city would not find this to be a big deal. But, for me, having the service of a doorman is something special and I’m trying not to get too used to it. The doorman and his family live in the building and are in the service of all residents of the building. At any time of day I can call one of them to do just about anything for me for a small fee of .5LE (the equivalent of 1 cent). This is a great service especially when I am busy with the kids or Mariam and I are in the middle of cooking and realize we need eggs…we just call one of them, give 1/2LE and they bring us eggs from the corner store down the street. I don’t know how many times this has happened to me at home—I just need something very simple, but to load up the kids and go to the store and get one things can turn into an hour-long task.

They also keep the building clean and (one of my favorites) they collect our trash once a day (or more if needed). I think this one means more to me because I don’t like the trash service at our house and it’s very frustrating. So to be able to set the full trash can outside the door and have someone collect it for me is great.

2. Basket out the window for groceries

This one is similar to the benefit of having a door man. First of all, I think I blogged about this earlier, but everyday the farmers from Cairo come into the city and sell their goods (fruits and veggies) on a horse/donkey/mule drawn cart. They have loud speakers attached to the cart so they can advertise what they have and how much everything costs. Also, as I’ve mentioned Alexandria is all apartment buildings, and some are very tall. So people who have a balcony open to the street and who live high in a building are able to lower down a basket with money and tell the farmer what they want, he them takes the money and puts the order in the basket and the basket is reeled up to the balcony. This is another fantastic thing I discovered—it makes life just a little easier. We live on the bottom floor and our balcony/patio opens to the back so we don’t actually have this ability but I still really like watching people do it. At first I asked Mariam how the people trust sending their money down to the street. She was surprised at my question and I said that people in America would rarely do something like this, especially in the city. She said people here don’t worry about things like that.

This is the same kind of cart the farmers have, but of course they haul fruit and veggies, not gas.

There is another type of guy that drives a cart like this, but his mission is to collect things, not sell them. He goes around town making deals with people to buy their old things. So it’s kind of like donating unused things to Goodwill, but the guy comes to you to haul it away, and he pays you!

3. Cleaning everything with water

This one is something that took some getting used to at first but now I really like it. Our whole apartment has ceramic tile floors and the floors are laid on a small, unnoticeable slant that leads to a floor drain in the bathroom. Also, all surfaces are waterproof—the kitchen is granite and the cabinets are a decorative metal. Only the doors are made of wood. Also, no appliances or furniture are stationary, they are all easily moved. So, when it’s time to clean, we just wipe everything with soapy water, sweep and mop and then use a squeegee to push all the water into the bathroom floor drain. Because of all the dust and dirt, people don’t have carpet, just area rugs that are easy to clean. And, cleaning inside has to be done more often, especially in the summer when there is little rain. So this type of cleaning, in my opinion, is very efficient and the floors are able to be cleaned much better than carpet.

There are things about Egypt that I really love and there are other things that frustrate me. Mariam jokes with me and says when I return to the states I will be like Tom Hanks in Castaway—hugging and kissing all the things I left behind…but really, other than hubby and my family, all that stuff means very little. I am just thankful to have such a wonderful life, both here in Egypt and back home in the States.

Living as a Foreigner

I have heard many people say about foreigners visiting or living in the US “if they’re going to come here they need to learn our language”. The funny thing is, people who say that probably only speak one language and have never experienced what it’s like to learn a second language. To those people, I say “it’s not that easy”. I’ve been in Egypt for about 2 months and I still don’t have enough courage to go far from home alone. I walk Karim to school everyday and am able to deal with his teachers and the school staff for the most part because many speak English and those who don’t are able to find someone who does. I have been to the corner store on our block but only to get a few things and I still have to read what the cash register says to understand how much I owe, and many of the store owners speak enough English to help me. It’s a little overwhelming to think about doing much more than that without the help of my family members.

I have been chatting with some friends back home who have experienced something similar, but quite different. Many women I’ve met since becoming Muslim, as well as my hubby, came to the US from foreign countries. Some, like my hubby, spoke English well when they arrived. Others spoke little to no English upon arrival. It is true that by immersing yourself in a language helps you learn faster because you have no choice but to force yourself to speak the language, but it’s still very difficult. At this time I am feeling extra compassion for all my friends back home living in a an unfamiliar place who have so much to say but don’t have the words to say it.

Now, not only does being a foreigner require a second language, but also cultural adaptation. For example, in the States waiting in lines is fairly customary and there are certain unsaid rules that are followed by those in the line. The number one rule is, wait your turn. Here, in Egypt, many places don’t have lines, you just have to go and push your way to you destination. This is not always true, as there are lines in places like the grocery store and government-type service places give you a number and you wait for your number to be called. I remember going to the bank one day and there was just a clump of people standing at the counter. At home I would wait behind the clump and when one person left I would fill the space. Not so in Egypt. It was a good thing I had my niece with me otherwise I would have been there all day. She grabbed my arm and we pushed our way through the clump to the counter and she yelled at the guy what we needed. It’s the same way in the open markets, if you wait your turn you’ll just stand there all day while people push past you. So, I’ve thrown all my manners aside and learned to get myself where I need to go.

There are still many cultural issues I’m learning to deal with. Not that these issues are unique to Egypt but some issues seem to be more prominent than what I’m used to back home. For example, some people are very nosy and are not shy to ask personal questions and they want to know everything about what everyone else is doing. I guess it’s similar to living in a small town, but definitely not something I’m used to.  My hubby’s family, thank God, do not have this problem and they respect my, and each other’s privacy. In close relationship to the nosiness is jealousy. I don’t want to paint Egyptians with a bad brush  but I’ve sensed more envy here than I’ve felt in my whole life. Someone may compliment my shoes and ask where I got them, for example. But, she is not really complimenting me, she wants to know all about the shoes so she can go find some better, like it’s a competition or something. I’ve had to really adapt my way of thinking when holding conversations with women outside of my family. I’ve been told of neighboring women having unspoken competitions about who’s laundry is cleaner, or who’s whites are whiter. First of all, there are no dryers in Egypt, they don’t exist; so all clothes are line-dried. Second, most buildings are built 10 feet from each other, so if I look around from the balcony I can see several people’s drying laundry. So, some women hang their laundry with pride to show their hard work in washing it which is also showing her competitors how much she loves her husband and kids, and this is the real competition—who loves her family more? I find it all very amusing, it would make for good soap opera material.

So, to come full circle, not knowing the language in a foreign country is difficult because I don’t know what’s going on around me, but at the same time a blessing because I can pretend I don’t know what’s going on when I don’t want to be involved :)

Egypt is Dirty, Egyptians are Clean

After a month and a half, something I’m still getting used to is the dirt and dust. Egypt is a desert country so of course there is going to be dirt and sand. It reminds me of when I used to go camping and would try so hard to keep dirt out of the tent but no matter what I did—taking off my shoes, wiping my feet—dirt always got inside. That’s kind of how it is here, even inside. I guess that is why people don’t typically have carpeted floors, it’s usually some type of tile with area rugs in the winter that are easy to clean. I have noticed that if I sweep and dust, by the next day there is a new layer on the surfaces and floor. And this is in Alexandria, I hear Cairo is even worse.

With all this dirt around, I am amazed to see how clean Egyptians are. Everyone I’ve met takes great pride in the way they present themselves. Clothes are always clean and pressed. Kids are always clean with their hair done and their shoes polished (Egyptians have a thing for black dress shoes and after wearing my beige shoes for a week, I see why). While walking Karim to school in the mornings, I see most of the moms dressed like they’re going for a job interview, when in reality most of them are just walking back home. It is my opinion that people compensate for the dirt by dressing well. I don’t know, but it is refreshing to see such nice looking people, I think it would be depressing to see people in ratty jeans or sweats crossing a trash-littered street.

A few blocks from our apartment. Our street is kept relatively clean, not like this—sidewalks swept and trash collectors sweep the streets (not a street sweeper like we are used to, actual guys with brooms sweeping the street, it’s an endless job).

I don’t know if this picture captures what I wanted but this girl is an example of how most people dress—color coordinated, clean, etc. and to her right, a pile of trash-littered dirt. At home I am used to seeing people run to the store in sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes—something Egyptians would consider strictly house clothes.

I don’t have a picture of the cars, but I noticed recently that people wash their cars every morning (actually, most people pay the doorman of the apartment building to do it). After I noticed this, I started looking inside the cars and they are spotless. Cars here are a luxury so most people don’t have them and most that do can only afford older cars. I have seen 30+ year old cars on the street shining like they’re brand new. A lesson I should take home because my car is always a mess.